There are times when a good relationship falls apart. This is the time when a person has to make the tough decision of breaking up with their significant other. Breaking up is not an easy task and, in many cases, it includes a lot of emotional torture. However, not every breakup has to drain you out of your emotions. There are a lot of people who want to know how to break up with someone in a mature way and this article will tell you how.
How to Break Up With Someone?
The answer to the question of how to break up has three parts. These include the before the breakup part, during the breakup part, and the after breakup part. Here is what you should do before, during, and after a breakup.
1. Before the break-up
Evaluate your relationship: ask yourself questions
The first thing that you should do when you are planning to break up with someone is to make sure that you evaluate your relationship in a rational manner. Make a list of the pros and cons of your relationship and measure them side by side. If you see that your relationship is sinking and the things are all going downhill and there is no way you can protect your relationship, you should then decide to break it off.
Think with a cool mind
Anger is not a good emotion to have. You should make sure that you do not let the anger control your feelings and only come to a decision when your mind is cool. Rash decisions that are made in anger can do a lot worse for your relationship than anything. If you want to make sure that you do not regret your decision later, give yourself the time to cool off and then think.
Prepare yourself emotionally and physically
You should know that the breakup will be emotionally and physically demanding in many ways. Hence you should be prepared for the emotional as well as the physical problems that will come along with the breakup.
Pick the right place and time
There is a time and a place for everything. Make sure you pick a place where you both are alone and are not doing anything important. Do not break up over a text or a phone call. Make sure you meet your partner and only then tell them what you have decided.
Ask your family and friends for advice
If you are still unsure of your decision, you can ask your family or friends for advice. If you do not have a family or a friend who can advise you then you can ask your therapist for advice on whether or not you are making the right decision.
2. During the break-up
Start forward and cut it clean
Do not go round in circles. Say whatever you want to say in a clear and precise manner. All of us want to avoid the guilt of breaking up with someone but words, such as ‘It is not you. It is me, who can make the person feel even worse. So, tell them the truth.
Keep space for open communication. Tell them precisely what you think is wrong and listen to them when they talk about their feelings. It is always good to talk openly while breaking up so that the other person is not left confused.
Be honest in your thoughts
No matter what, just be honest. If you do not love them anymore tell them. If they have hurt you in any way, tell them. Do not go around in circles. Talk with your heart and let them know everything that is on your mind.
Stick to your decision
Your partner might want to change your decision, do not be swayed by it. There is a reason you wanted to end the relationship and you should not be swayed by the fact that your partner wants to work things out. If they had wanted to solve the problem, it would have not occurred in the first place. So, stick to your decision.
3. After the break-up
Accept the end of the relationship
No matter how much you loved your partner, accept the fact that it is now the end of the relationship. Yes, there are people who get back together and make things work but you should stop keeping hope. It is the worst thing that you will do to yourself. So, train yourself to accept the facts.
Embrace single life
Don’t take being single as a burden on yourself, rather take it in a positive way. Now you can have more time for yourself and can focus on the things that you were not able to do when you were in a relationship.
Plan a good diet and exercise
Don’t stop taking care of yourself and create a good diet and exercise plan. You will be able to cope up with your feelings better when you are healthy and active. So, create a healthy and active lifestyle for yourself.
Overcome the depression and enjoy yourself with friends
Try to overcome your depression and do not cut people off from your life. Talk to your friends and family, enjoy with them, take a break and have some fun with your life. A breakup does not mean that you will stop enjoying your life.
What to Avoid When Breaking Up with Someone?
One of the most important questions is how do you break up with someone and not get anything wrong? For the people who want to know how they can avoid the drama that comes with the breakup, read the points below:
Most people play the blame game in which they complain about the other person or themselves for being selfish. This can be really destructive for both the partners so you should avoid it.
Don’t forget the practical things
Don’t forget about the things that your partner knows about you such as your passwords or information about you that they can use against you. Find a way to destroy the information before your breakup.
Don’t get back to the broken relationship
It can be tempting but it is never a good idea to go back to a relationship that gave you emotional pain and was not a happy one.
Don’t base your decision on other people
Even if you have common friends or your families know each other, you need to break up because they are not suffering your pain.
Don’t be in any kind of contact
Cut off any kind of contact with the person. Stop following your ex on social media or asking your common friends about your ex whereabouts.
Breaking up from the one person you were in a close relationship can be really tough, but with some planning and strong determination, you can get over it. When things in a relationship get sour, it is best to break up with the other person so that you do not have to face the hardships in the future. Staying in a toxic relationship can do much more damage to you than your breakup.